I Used To Know
There was a time I used to know
- used to know everything
That I needed, and more besides. Most of it was helpful
To more people than myself, and they told me so.
loved to ponder
How much good I contributed to the world, how
Satisfied - even justified - that made me feel.
Thinking about this now, I can't
Identify the moment it all changed.
I can't tell you the second or the minute -
Or the month or the day or even the year -
everything blurred, when my soul
Shook me loose of such illusion, of such
Certainty and narrow seeing. I can't
Tell you -really -
How I fought with that blurring for years,
Cranky and resistant, thinking I was
controlling the uncontrollable.
And I can't tell you, really,
How once or twice the ground
opened at my feet like a yawn,
and I saw -
oh rich boundless darkness -
I saw with inner eyes - the infinite universe
Living inside and outside, and how small I was
In it and how little I actually knew and would ever know,
And how knowing that
expanded my heart
to the size of the universe and back again.
And how everything - everything - is unfolding only
As it can unfold. And how it must unfold, and how every
Moment holds the whole
And every present moment is eternity.