The older I become, the more aware I am of the passing of time. In the past few years, this has escalated, so that I sometimes now feel a sense of pressure to make sure I get things done during a day and then on into tomorrow. I have resisted, and even
resented, interruptions and the unexpected: unscheduled phone calls, people dropping in, realizing that - even with planning - I don't get as much done as I used to in a given period of time.
This morning, it came to me that time sometimes has me in
a kind of GRIP, almost by the throat. Constantly pushing...a kind of rising in the throat at a realization that time is running out...whatever that means. Beacuse I can also say that the true, real moments and experiences are timeless, outside of time, and
time cannot make them happen if some other, deeper and more subtle weaving of threads has not been working unknown to me.
So it is this "Unknown" that I focus on now when I find myself in the grip of time. I have begun to make a very early-morning intention:
"I enter into the day's unfolding with open hands and open heart, releasing my small plans and welcoming what the Unknown brings." It is easy to make this intention in the morning dark, in the silence and the fire's warmth. It is another to live it slowly
and intentionally throughout the day. But I intend to. Otherwise, I am lost in the inner pressure and the frantic necessities.