I am now three months into a sabbatical time and it is only during the past few days that I notice a loosening of needing schedules and definite times to think about the day ahead. Time has been a chokehold for me from a very young age, when I
would create schedules to study by every evening, and stick to them religiously. It is no exaggeration to say that this early habit grew into a rigid life expectation, and I have had great difficulty seeing and trusting that if things don't go according to
schedule, I don't need to grieve the loss.
You might say "what world were you living in?" Almost nothing goes according to schedule, or expectation, in our world. But that wasn't always the case. So one of my sabbatical practices is to experience
and allow quick-footed change in a moment or an hour or a day...to soften that inner rigidity and to drop into the deeper contemplative time that emerges when I enter into silence. I am only now making a small beginning in learning that releasing
into a larger reality...