I see here that I have not posted since August 24. Really, though I am on sabbatical time, it has been busy, and not in ways I had expected. Changing the focus of my time, releasing tasks and concerns related to work, has not been easy. A restlessness
sets in - a habit of doing, a deadline-related urgency, and then - nothing there. Very disconcerting.
I hadn't realized that it would take time to empty my days of scheduled necessities, or - if it had crossed my mind - that it would be so difficult.
There is an automatic expectation carved into me from a lifetime of what I lately call time protection; that is, if I am following my busy and urgent schedule, I won't have to look at the things that I am not attending
So my daily intention for now is to explore what happens when I give up schedules and plans for any given day. What emerges? What is waiting to be heard and seen? Can I tolerate the disorientation and discomfort until they lessen, until some comfort
with whatever emerges in "no planned hours" becomes as valuable as what is included in the planned times?
Meanwhile, I am unsuscribing the daily and weekly emails from all manner of helpful websites that fill my
box every morning. That emptiness alone is a new beginning. More to come...